“How we behave will always be aligned with how we see ourselves.”
– Lanny Bassham
We all screw up sometimes…
We all carry scars from the past…
We all have done more or less of the stuff that we’re not that proud of…
The question is: What do we do about these things? What do we do with our past?
We can choose to let the past define us as persons… making our mirror dirty… This is a key distinction… The basic challenge is not our behaviour, but the way we see ourselves… Our behaviour will always follow.
Having a dirty mirror can sound like this: “I can’t do this & I can’t do that because I’m not a good enough person, smart enough, trustworthy enough… I’ve experienced too much bad stuff… I’m a bad person…”
The other, more useful option is to clean our mirror, re-define our past, what it means to us & move forward in freedom & empowerment, taking full responsibility for our future.
HOW TO MOVE FORWARD THROUGH A NEGATIVE SELF IMAGE
1. Clean Your Mirror
You clean you mirror simply by recognising that it’s dirty and that it’s this dirt that is causing you to act in less than optimal ways… This dirt is only the old story you’ve been telling yourself about who you are… But YOU are not a “fixed entity”, a finished product… You are where you are because you made decisions on your current levels of consequence awareness… You can make new decisions & make a new you…
“It is your decisions, and not your conditions, that determine your destiny.”
– Anthony Robbins
2. Re-Define Your Past
Everything that happened. Every ridiculous decision you made. Every thing that you want to forget about you past… this might sound a bit radical but… everyone of these experiences can choose to be seen as a blessing, and not a curse… The thing is… We can either go through life as victims, who use our past as excuses… Not to follow our dreams… Not to set the goals… Not to be the person you wish to be…
And empathy doesn’t always come for free… Sometimes it’s hard won… I have no idea what you’ve gone through but I know that because of what have happened you will be able to understand other people who’ve experienced similar things. You can be an invaluable asset to them… It’s your choice… victim or leadership… You choose…
Some powerful questions to ask yourself to re-define your past are:
—> How can this be useful to others?
—> What can I learn from this?
—> What would I say to someone who’ve gone through similar things?
“Knowing yourself, then, means separating who you are and who you want to be from what the world thinks you are and wants you to be.”
– Warren Bennis
3. Re-Define Your Self
Now it’s time to slowly rebuild your self… Re-define your self. The starting point here I believe is looking at this from a bigger perspective… I suggest that you imagine that you’re life is now at the end, and it’s your own funeral… All the people you hold dear are present and many are holding speeches about who you were and what you meant to them… What would you like to hear?
You have the power to write the rest of the script, the script that is your life…
“Character isn’t something you’re born with and can’t change, like your fingerprints. It’s something you weren’t born with and must take responsibility for forming.”
– Jim Rohn
Have you dealt with a negative, limited self image? Or are you dealing with it now?
Please feel free to connect & join the conversation.
With love & respect,