Post #96. Place Joy & Success in Your Immediate Control Zone

Why is it so hard for us to know what we want in life? 

I had a conversation yesterday with a woman in her 50’s. With a sad look in her face, which turned into a little laugh while shrugging her shoulders, she told me “I still don’t know what I want to do with my life.”

I guess, by now, she’s used to living with the pain of potential unexpressed, within her.

The thing that was interesting though was that, when we continued speaking, things came up top the surface. Things that she wanted to do… But It was just “kind of’s”…
I “kind of” want this… I “kind of” want that…

How could I have helped her to get some deeper clarity on what she really want in life, so she could go after it and endure the challenges that might present themselves along the way?

Let’s dive into it. 🙂

I believe that no matter if you are the CEO of Google, a billionaire, a fitness guru with perfect abs,  a globally renown doctor, world class author, a Beyoncé, a pre-school teacher or a toilet cleaner, I believe we all deep inside of us, on some level want to experience one thing…  Joy.

This makes me think of this quote by Jim Carrey:
“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

So, what we should consider while thinking about what we want is not:
* What does my parants want me to do? 
* What does the people around me want me to do? 
* What are the expectations from society? 

Instead, choose to pursue whatever gives you the most joy.

You have to find out for yourself.

Follow your nose.

Follow the fragrance of joy. 🙂

It will take you to beautiful places.

Choose to do the things that feed your soul, not the things that drains it.

Choose joy.


I think we all deep inside of us, know what we want…

At least at some level.

To gain deeper clarity on what creates most joy in your life, ask yourself some essential questions:
* What do I do when I experience the most joy?
* What makes me happy?
* What did I enjoy doing when I was a child?
* What do I do that makes me feel proud of myself?
* What makes me feel most alive?
* What did I do to get in to the flow zone?

Some things that came up for me in my list were things such as:

I experience joy when I…
* remember to be present.
* take a walk barefoot on a forrest path.
* converse with compassion & honesty
* do the right thing instead of the easy thing.
* do the workout even if I’m tired.
* resist that thing I know does’t feed the best part of me
* help people see a little further and lift their gaze a little higher
* learn from my mistakes
* am vulnerable in a conversation
* support the people I’m connected to
* reach out to people I want to connect with
* call to memory beautiful moments in my life
* listen deeply and non-judgementally
* live my values even if it’s hard sometimes
* do the thing I set out to do

The cool thing with this list that i’ve noticed is that, many of these are 100% in my control… They are very actionable… And in this way, joy becomes a choice, not chance…

What is your list? 

When you’ve finished it, I recommend that you change the title from: “I experience joy when…” to “I know I’m successful when I…”

In this way, you can choose success, at any moment.


With love,

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