We all want to be happy. But we seek our happiness in different places, depending on what we believe will make us happy…

But sometimes what we believe will make us happy doesn’t really do what we expected. Sometimes what we think will make us happy, doesn’t match our expectations. For a while maybe, but then… those feelings creep in again. And we look for the next rush.

According to Edward L. Deci there are two types of motivation, one that he calls Intrinsic and another one he calls Extrinsic.

Intrinsic Motivation 
“Those who had “strong aspirations for any of the intrinsic goals—meaningful relationships, personal growth, and community contributions—were positively associated with well-being.”

“It seems that people who are the healthiest focus on developing satisfying personal relationships, growing as individuals, and contributing to their community.”
– Edward L. Deci

Extrinsic Motivation 
This is we are motivated by Chasing Money, fame or beauty.

Deci found that people who had “an unusually strong aspiration for material success was associated with narcissism, anxiety, depression, and poorer social functioning as rated by a trained clinical psychologist.”

So, Switch from Extrinsic “Bling Goals” to Intrinsic “Being Goals”.


Some more quotes related to motivation & authenticity:

“Integrity is the integration of ideals, convictions, standards, beliefs—and behaviour. When our behaviour is congruent with our professed values, when ideals and practice match up, we have integrity.”
– Nathaniel Branden

“The narcissistic preoccupation results not from people’s being aligned with the self but from their having lost contact with it.”
– Edward L. Deci

“Rather than waiting for the world to give them what they want, people can become more proactive in making things happen for themselves.”
– Edward L. Deci

“Those who understand that failure is inextricably linked with achievement are the ones who learn, grow, and ultimately do well. Learn to fail, or fail to learn.”
– Tal Ben-Shahar


*Edward L. Deci is a Professor of Psychology and Gowen Professor in the Social Sciences at the University of Rochester, and director of its human motivation program.
He is well known in psychology for his theories of intrinsic motivation and basic psychological needs. With Richard Ryan, he is the founder of self-determination theory (SDT), an influential contemporary motivational theory. (from Wikipedia)

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